I'm sure that, by now, everyone has heard the old saying, "There are only two certainties in life - death and taxes". What I recently realized, though, is exactly how out dated that old saying actually is. It struck me as I was doggedly scouring the ‘net in a desperate attempt to save a couple of bucks on my car insurance one day that in these modern times there is yet one more certainty in the life of a car owner. Technically, car insurance can be avoided but only by making the most extreme sacrifice known to twenty-first century man. So, accepting the act of ridding myself of my Steel Stallion as a complete impossibility, I set about to find ways to reduce the level of pain I would have to endure as I faced this third certainty with the resolve of a modern day David.

A quick review of my current coverage revealed that I had already taken the easy first steps in my quest. I'm a non-smoker, I have a clean driving record - no speeding tickets or DUI incidents, I have a car alarm, anti-lock brakes, airbags, and I purchase car insurance online directly from the insurance company. It was obvious that for me to save money I would have to take my thinking to an entirely new level.

After another marathon online session I arrived at the following list of sure-fire money saving tactics.

1. I could stop driving my car to work. Options here include a) working from home, b) joining a carpool, c) walking to work or d) taking public transportation. Each option has its pluses and minuses. The problem is that the minuses seem to dominate.

2. I could change my profession and become an educator, scientist, or perhaps even a member of the Clergy. I made a note to investigate exactly which career path would yield the most savings. I realized later, though, that paying tuition at school might actually negate any future savings. On the other hand, becoming a man of the cloth could render huge savings in the wardrobe arena plus I’d only have to go to work one day a week…

3. I could enlist in the Military. Once again I would realize a windfall on clothing not to mention the savings on Groceries and Utility payments. Of course, in the service I probably wouldn't even have that much use for a car at all.

4. I could buy another car. Most insurance companies offer a "Multi Car Discount". A little work on my pocket calculator figuring the down payment, monthly payments, and the additional insurance premium showed this option to be something less than optimal.

5. I could buy a house. I didn’t even need the calculator to rule this one out - even taking into consideration the possibility of purchasing a home right next to my job.

6. I could stop switching insurance companies every year or so in the quest to save a little cash. If you stick with one company for a while you may qualify for a ”Continuous Coverage" reduced rate.

7. I could sell my late model car and purchase an older vehicle. I'm not suggesting that this would necessarily yield a discount, but if I had a car I didn't care that much about I could probably live with a higher deductible on Collision coverage and maybe even drop Comprehensive completely.

8. I could try to convince the AARP that I’m over 50 years old.

Once I had this list assembled, I sat back to consider my options. It was clear that, taken individually, there was nothing in this list that would really help me out. This, quite naturally, lead me to consider the possible combinations. It took me a while to mix and match, group and consider, and assemble and dissect before I arrived at what looks like the perfect solution for my situation. So, if you are out and about one day and happen to see a 50 year old Army Chaplin driving one of his two 1963 Volkswagen Beetles to a bus stop so he can catch the cross-town to the local university so he can teach his class on Logic in Real-estate sales, that would be me.